Help Me Be Who I Am
by EvilMicella
Summary: ***NEWLY UPDATED AS OF JUNE 20th!!!*** Ron has feelings for Hermione, but is afraid to tell her. To help him, Ron trys to commit suicide. Will Harry and Hermione save him in time? R/Hr romance. Some H/G later on. Plz r/r!
1. To The Burrow

To The Burrow  
  
A/N New story..so many to finish already. Well, I didn't want to write a next chapter, so I'm writing a new STORY. One that's been in my mind for a while now. It's about time it's been written. Here ya go, and PLZ review.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Ron was sitting on his bed, tired and acking all over. He had no idea why he did. Well, he might've had a few ideas, but he didn't care. The pain was mostly in his wrists, but even his back. The physical pain wasn't as hurtful as the emotional one. It was midnight, and in 12 more hours, Hermione and Harry would be visiting. That wasn't the hard part; he suspected that Hermione, his Hermione, went to Krum's. Although Ron and Hermione weren't actually a couple, Ron wanted it to be so. He loved her so much, and if he ever told her, he'd be heartbroken if she didn't love him back. An hour later, Ron finally fell asleep.  
  
The next morning, Ron was woken up by his two older brothers, Fred and George. They were exploding things in the kitchen loudly enough, so Ron decided to get up. It seemed the pain in himself went away, which was a good thing because Ron was thinking of taking Hermione and Harry to the dock by the small lake. He never really told them about it. When he got downstairs, there was smoke all over the kitchen, and he heard Mrs. Weasley yelling at the twins.  
  
"I TOLD YOU TWO ALREADY! NO EXPLODING THINGS IN THE HOUSE!" she screamed.  
  
"We didn't do it on purpose! It just exploded by itself, I swear!" Fred said, trying to keep a straight face.  
  
"Yeah, mum. We would NEVER break one of your rules," George said, also trying to keep a straight face.  
  
"I just don't know WHAT to do with you boys! Why don't you de-gnome the garden right now as a punishment?" Mrs. Wealsey said after calming down. The twins walk outside, muttering, 'If degnoming the garden is a punishment, then we get punished more than the average human kid'. Ron sat at the kitchen table, and took some bread.  
  
"You finally got up, I see," Mrs. Weasley smiled as she saw Ron. "I was calling you down not too long ago."  
  
"Guess I didn't hear," Ron said dully. "What time is it?"  
  
"Almost 12, dear," Mrs. Weasley replied.  
  
"12??!! HERMIONE AND HARRY'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE!" Ron panicked, and ran upstairs, almost tripping over them. He was still in his pj's, and the door bell rang. 'Shit' he said to himself, and pulled on some jeans and a long sleeved shirt, and ran back downstairs, while trying to put on his shoes. Finally, he reached the door and opened it.  
  
"Hey, Harry! How'd you get here?" Ron smiled as his green-eyed, jet black friend entered the doorway.  
  
"Hey, Ron. Believe it or not, the Dursleys drove me here. Took them a while, but we found the right roads," Harry laughed, as he followed Ron up to his room.  
  
"That's something new! Well, Hermione isn't here yet, but when she does get here, I need to show you guys something," Ron said. "But first, I need to ask you something, and you can't tell anyone."  
  
"Sure. What is it?" Harry asked.  
  
"Well, I'm pretty sure I'm in love," Ron said, blushing.  
  
"Aw! Little Ronniekiens has a crush! Who's the lucky girl?" Harry teased.  
  
"Hermione," Ron muttered. Harry's eyes grew big and his mouth dropped.  
  
"Are you serious, Ron?" Harry whispered.  
  
"Very serious. I have been ever since our 1st year at Hogwarts. I'm afraid to tell her, though. What if she doesn't like me back?" Ron replied, taking a deep sigh.  
  
"I'm pretty sure she does, Ron. Don't worry. Just tell her how you feel," Harry said, patting Ron on the back. "And you have to when she comes."  
  
"But--" Ron started, but the doorbell rang.  
  
"That shall be Hermione," Harry grinned, and ran downstairs, with Ron following, though he didn't want to. Harry opened the door, and there was a smiling Hermione.  
  
"Hey, guys!" she said cheerfully, and entered the house.  
  
"Hey," Harry and Ron said together. They each took a bag and started climbing the stairs to Ginny's room.  
  
"Hey, Ron, didn't you say you had something to show us?" Harry asked as they set the bags on the extra bed.  
  
"Oh, yeah! Just follow me outside," Ron said, and they left the house. They walked a bit, talking about their summers, and there was no hint of visiting Krum from Hermione. Finally, they reached a hill and when they got to the top, Harry and Hermione saw the most beautiful site ever. There was a small mountain-like hill, flowers, trees, and a beautiful lake.  
  
"Oh, my god! It's so pretty," Hermione whispered.  
  
"I'll say! Why haven't you told us about this, Ron?" Harry asked.  
  
"I don't know. Just forgot, I guess," Ron shrugged, and then walked down the hill as the others followed. He led them to a dock and sat at the edge, feet hanging from the ends. After moments of silence, Hermione spoke up.  
  
"So, Ron..what have you done this summer?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing really. Just sat around a lot," Ron smiled. "How about you?"  
  
"Oh," she said, like she was hoping he wouldn't've said anything. "Not much..just went to Bulgaria.."  
  
"To see Krum?" Ron gulped. His heart was beating fast, and it was getting hard for him to breathe.  
  
"Yes," Hermione barely whispered. Now, Ron's heart was beating too fast to count, and he stopped breathing completely.  
  
"Ron? Are you ok?" Harry asked him, but Ron didn't reply. Suddenly, everything became black; he had fainted.  
  
"Ron!" Hermione cried.  
  
"Help me get him back to The Burrow!" Harry said to Hermione, and they put his arms around their shoulders and ran as fast as they could back to The Burrow. They ran inside and found Mrs. Weasley in the kitchen. She looked up as they entered and shrieked.  
  
"What happen" She asked, trying to keep from fainting herself.  
  
"We don't know. He just passed out," Hrry said, as they laid him on the couch.  
  
"I'll get a doctor," Mrs. Weasley said, and disappaperated.  
  
"Oh, I hope everything'll be ok!" Hermione cried.  
  
"It will. He'll.." Harry started, but stopped when he pulled up Ron's sleeves when he was checking his pulse.  
  
"What is it?" Hermione asked slowly, afraid it was something horrible, and it was. Harry pointed to Ron's wrists, and saw a couple of scars, and there was one that was made recently.  
  
"You don't think.." Hemione started, but couldn't finish the rest.  
  
"I think so. Ron tried to kill himself several times," Harry answered, but before anything else was said, Mrs. Weasley appaperated back with a doctor. They told him what happened, and he gave Ron some medicine.  
  
"I'm pretty sure he had fainted from deep depression, sadness, or by the heat. I'm not quite sure, but he should be better by tomorrow. If he isn't, then contact me immediately," the doctor said, while the others thanked him, and he disappaperated.  
  
"Let's let him rest," Mrs. Weasley said, and they slowly went in the kitchen. Harry and Hermione couldn't stop thinking about what they saw on Ron's wrists. Why had he tried killing himself? They would find out as soon as he woke up and was better. . .hopefully. . .  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N like it? I did!!! Hehe, well, I'll update ASAP, just PLZ review and wait 4 next chapter! 


	2. Tell Me

Tell Me  
A/N thanks 4 the reviews! Loved them lots!! Plz review!  
  
~*~*~  
  
Hermione was sitting on a chair next to Ron in the middle of the night. All that she could think of was, why did he faint, and why did he have cut marks on his wrist? What really bothered her was the fact that she was pretty sure why those were there; he tried to kill himself. But why? He has a loving family, loads of friends, and he has many things going for him. The possible reasons why he might've tried to commite suicide could be that he wasn't the richest person alive, or hardly rich at all, and he's the youngest of 5 other boys in his family. No matter what, though, she would always be his friend. Though sometimes she wished it was more..scratch that. She wished it all the time. Hermione sighed and layed her head on the arm rest and fell asleep.  
Ron suddenly woke up. It was dark out, so it must've been night time. Everything in the house was so quiet. The past events were also still in his mind. Why'd he faint? It wasn't hot out, and he was pretty sure he didn't get hit in the head. Then it came to him. It was because Hermione went to visit Krum. How he hated that git. Ron sat up on the couch and saw Hermione asleep on the arm rest, and he smiled. She was so beautiful and caring. Then something came to him; he knew why he got upset when Hermione went to see Krum in Bulgaria. He was in love with her. It would explain a lot of things about their friendship. Ron put some strains of hair that was in Hermione's face, behind her ears. That was when he fell asleep.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Harry got up and ran downstairs to see Ron still on the couch sleeping, and Hermione sitting in a chair, resting on the arm rest. It was very obvious they liked each other. Of course, Harry was a bit worried that if they were to become boyfiend and girlfriend, that they might forget to include him, but then he reminded himself that they would never do that to him. The problem was, though, will they ever admitt their feelings to each other. Harry was going to find out if Hermione was in love with Ron, since he already knew Ron was in love with Hermione.  
  
"Hermione?" Harry whispered, shaking her slightly. "Hermione??"  
  
"What?" Hermione said, opening her eyes slowly.  
  
"I need to talk to you, so you want to take a walk while Ron's still sleeping?" Harry asked, and she nodded and got up. They took the path that went around the house, but through the forest aswell.  
  
"So, Harry..what do you want to talk about?" Hermione asked, breaking the silence.  
  
"Well, yesturday, when I arrived here, Ron told me something. Even though I promise to not tell anyone, I think you should know. But first, I must ask a question," Harry said.  
  
"Ok, then," Hermione replied, and Harry continued.  
  
"Do you like Ron?" He asked, looking straight at her. Hermione's eyes grew very wide.  
  
"W-why do you ask that?" She asked.  
  
"You'll see, but first you'll need to answer," Harry grinned, as Hermione looked helplessly around.  
  
"Fine..IdolikeRon," she said very quickly, and started walking faster.  
  
"I knew it!" Harry laughed, while catching up with her.  
  
"You better not tell! Please, Harry! I'll tell him when I'm ready," she begged, and Harry nodded. If he wasn't going to tell Ron what Hermione said, then he might aswell not tell Hermione what Ron said. They kept walking in silence and got back to The Burrow. When they entered, Ron was just waking up.  
  
"Ron! You're ok!" Hermione said, and gave him a hug. Harry was trying very hard not to laugh.  
  
"Hey, Ron!" Harry smiled at him. "Do you know why you fainted yesturday?"  
  
"The heat, I guess," Ron lied. He wasn't quiet ready to say exactly why he did faint. "I'm all better now. It feels like I never fainted in the first place, anyways."  
  
"Well, at least you're feeling better," Hermione said. The three sat in silence for a couple of minutes, and then Harry spoke.  
  
"Ron..I need to ask you," Harry started, and Ron got worried. What if they saw his wrists? He hoped they didn't notice..but too bad it wasn't quite true. "Why were all those marks on your wrist?"  
  
"Uh..um.." Ron started, but didn't finish. He could tell them.  
  
"Ron," Hermione whispered, "don't tell me you tried t-to..kill yourself?" Before he could answer, Mrs. Weasley came downstairs, and saw that he was awake.  
  
"Oh, Ron! You feeling better?" she asked, putting her hand on his forehead to see if he had a tempature.  
  
"I'm fine, mum," he replied.  
  
"Ok, then," she sighed in relief. "Guess what? School's isn't about to start for a while, so your father and I decided that all of us should take a break and go to France. It's a rather nice place, if I do say so myself."  
  
"Oh, it's really wonderful! I've been there just 2 years ago," Hermione informed them.  
  
"My! You've been to a lot of places! Where else have you been?" Mrs. Weasley asked, while smiling  
  
"Well, other than France, I've been to America, China, only, I was too little to remember, Canada, and Bulgaria.." Hermione said, but instantly stopped when she realized what she had just said. She quickly looked at Ron, who was looking at the ground.  
  
"When will we go?" Ron asked, still looking at the ground  
  
"A week. I know I should've told you before, but I've been so busy making plans, that I forgot. That reminds me, Fred and George don't even know yet. I better tell them, and Ginny aswell. You guys should go pack," Mrs. Weasley said, and left the room to go outside. Ron quickly got up and ran up the stairs, as Harry and Hermione followed. He didn't want to tell them about the scars, so he ran faster at the thought.  
  
"Harry..I think he really DID try to kill himself! He isn't answering us when we ask," Hermione whispered to Harry.  
  
"You're right. I'll try to talk to him when we get to his room. Later," Harry replied, as Hermione turned into Ginny's room. Soon enough, Harry reached Ron's room. Of course, Ron was already there, and packing. He decided to not ask him at the moment, since he could look for clues instead. Without a word, Harry pretended he was getting his stuff. To his own luck, Ron left the room, saying he left his wand downstairs, and Harry searched around his bed. He didn't find anything suspicious looking at all, until..  
  
"What do we have here?" Harry thought to himself, as he pulled a knife out from under matress of the bed. It had a lot of blood stains on it already, and some was already fresh. 'So he DID try to kill himself,' he though, and put the knife in his bag so Ron couldn't find it. When Harry started packing all of his stuff, he noticed a wand lying on Ron's desk. It was definantly not his own, so it must've been Ron's..but wasn't that why he went downstairs? 'Oh no!' Harry thought, and ran straight out of the room. He reached the kitchen, and looked around. No Ron, but somehow, he noticed the knife drawer opened, and a knife missing. The problem was..where was Ron? Harry looked around, and found a door wide open, which lead to the basement, and he went down. There were so many rooms, he didn't know where to look first, so he just picked the closest one. Luckily, it was the right one. There was Ron, lying on the floor.  
  
"Ron!" Harry yelled, and ran next to him. His wrists were bleeding, and a knife was lying next to them. Harry took out his wand, muttered a spell, and Ron's arms were back to normal. Problem was, Ron wasn't awake. Suddenly, there were footsteps of someone coming down the stairs. In no minute, Hermione was at the door frame.  
  
"Harry? I heard you yell, and-" she started, but saw Ron on the ground. "Oh, my god! What happened?" by now, tears were flowing down her cheeks, as she went on the other side of Ron.  
  
"Hermione, calm down! Everything's fine, but Ron tried to kill himself yet again," Harry said.  
  
"But why? Why??" she cried. "It's because I reminded him that I went to Bulgaria, isn't it? Oh, I'm so stupid." By now, she had her hand over her eyes.  
  
"It's not your fault. Besides, he did it because he.." Harry started, but stopped. He almost told Hermione how Ron felt about her.  
  
"Because he what?" Hermione said, removing her hand. Harry looked away and at the wall. "Harry! Tell me. Please?" All Harry did was keep quiet, until Ron slowly opened his eyes. . . . . . .  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N Hehe, took me a while to figure out what I was going to write after that part where Ron smiled when he saw Hermione resting on the arm rest. Hoped ya liked it! Again, thanks for the reviews! Plz review this chapter! 


	3. Thoughts

Thoughts  
  
A/N Hey! Got an idea 4 this chapter after listening to this song from Evanescence, called "Tourniquet". Tourniquet is a bandage that stops the flow of blood from an artery by applying pressure. Well, that's why this chapter is a song fic thingy, heh. Oh, and the song'll be in the *** stuff. So, here's the story and song that helped me write the story. Oh, and it starts b4 Ron tried to kill himself, in his POV..you know..uh..just read and see! THANKS 4 REVIEWING!!  
  
~*~*~  
  
Ron had just left his room to "get his wand", or so he made Harry think. Hermione in Bulgaria, it's hard for him to think about. There was pain in him, pain that he needed to get rid of. He ran to the kitchen and got a knife. 'where to go?' he thought. Then he saw the basement door, and ran for it. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he looked at the knife.  
  
"This is it. The end of my pain," Ron said to himself, and closed his eyes, while putting the knife to his wrist. He let out a little scream, that only he could hear. Then he felt the blood flowing out his arm, but that was the last of what he felt, because he then fell to the ground.  
  
***  
  
I tried to kill the pain  
  
but only brought more  
  
I lay dying  
  
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
  
Am I too lost to be saved  
  
Am I too lost?  
  
***  
  
Even though he was close to death and unable to open his eyes, Ron could think, and hear a tiny bit. A voice in Ron's mind wanted him to go back and stop himself from death, but another was reminding him that the pain would still be there if he didn't try to kill himself. But the first voice overruled, and he regret the pain of suffering the way he did.  
  
***  
  
My God, My Tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My God, My Tourniquet  
  
Return me to salvation  
  
***  
  
What would happen when his family and friends found him, dead? They would think it was like him to do such a thing, and that he had a good life to live. It wasn't true though. Without his love, his Hermione, he was nothing. He didn't need to breathe, see, or even live. He got himself lost, and he couldn't be found. Maybe the next day, they'll forget about him, and never remember who he was.  
  
***  
  
Do you remember me  
  
Lost for so long  
  
Will you be on the other side  
  
or will you forget me  
  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
  
Am I too lost to be saved  
  
Am I too lost?  
  
***  
  
The voice again. Telling him he made a big mistake, the biggest mistake a person can make.  
  
'You'll regret everything as soon as you see,' it said.  
  
'No he won't. He'll be the happiest in death,' another said.  
  
'To get his love, killing himself won't help,' the first voice said.  
  
***  
  
My God, My Tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My God, My Tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
***  
  
"But if doesn't do so, he'll have to suffer by watching his love, love someone else," the second voice said. Then they stopped. No answer from the first voice, none at all. It's true, then. He's better off dead than alive. The thought of it made him jump in happiness, but he switched to sadness. It wasn't exactly how he wanted to die, or how he thought he would.  
  
***  
  
(plays softly) Return to me salvation  
  
(loudly as someone screams) I WANT TO DIE!  
  
***  
  
'Things change,' he thought. His friends changed, his family changed, even he changed. He still laid there, on the cold, hard floor, blood pouring from himself to the ground, while he was mixed in thoughts.  
  
***  
  
My wounds cry for the grave  
  
My soul cries for deliverance  
  
Will I be denied christ  
  
Tourniquet  
  
My suicide  
  
***  
  
Suddenly, there were footsteps of someone running down the stairs. It was either Harry, Hermione or his mum. He couldn't tell, since he was unable to open his eyes. He heard yells, silence, more footsteps, screams, and whispers. Who was saying what, he couldn't tell, but he felt his wrist being healed, and he was getting better. Slowly, he opened his eyes. Everything was a bit blurry, but hhe could tell that Harry and Hermione were kneeling next to him.  
  
"Ron!" Hermione cried, while smiling and taking his hand. Harry was also smiling. Ron couldn't help but smile aswell. He tried to talk, but his voice hadn't recovered just yet.  
  
"Here, let's get him upstairs," Harry said, and they both lifted him up, and carefully walked up the stairs. They took him to the couch, and put him down. Ron tried to speak yet again, and he was able to.  
  
"How'd-how'd you find me?" he asked.  
  
"Thinking very well," Harry smiled. "I actually saw your wand on your dresser."  
  
"Oh.." Ron said in a low voice.  
  
"Ron?" Hermione asked. "Why..what..did you try to-to kill yourself?"  
  
"That's a thing that may be true. But I can't say," Ron said, looking at the ground.  
  
"Please, Ron. Tell us!" Harry begged. Ron then looked up at his best friend, and the one he loved (A/N you know which is which, lol).  
  
"Can't..just yet," Ron said. "Please, though, don't tell mum what happened just now." Harry and Hermione nodded. Just then, Mrs. Weasley came in the house, followed by Fred and George.  
  
"Little Ronniekiens taking a break?" Fred teased.  
  
"Need help picking up that book?" George also teased.  
  
"Hardy har har. I was just sitting for a bit," Ron said, trying to get up, but Harry and Hermione pulled him down.  
  
"The heat's getting to him," Hermione told Mrs. Weasley. She'd know what she ment by that.  
  
"Oh! Well, take as long as you want to rest, Ron," she said, and left The twins went up to their room to pack.  
  
"Yes, Ron. You better rest, and pack tomorrow," Hermione said, patting his hand.  
  
"But when we get to France, you'd better tell us what happened. We need to know," Harry said, and both he and Hermione got up to finish packing. First, though, they locked the knife drawer, and took anything Ron might think of using. Even if they asked him if he was trying to kill himself, they knew he was. All they needed was full knowledge of it.  
  
"Hermione, we need to watch him," Harry said to her as they climbed the stairs.  
  
"Very closely, too," Hermione replied. "He better not try anything like that again, and suceed (sp?) at it. I'll be heart broken.." and she turned into Ginny's room. Harry shook his head, and kept climbing. The reason Ron was doing this was because he thought Hermione loved Viktor Krum, but that wasn't the truth at all. She loved Ron, and he loved her. All they need to do was tell each other, and everything'll be back to normal..or at least better. The problem was..it wasn't going to be that easy. Like the saying goes, "Old habits are hard to break".  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N Headache, backache, neckache ..lol. I've been sitting on this chair writing and I never stood up. Well, hope you liked it! If you didn't understand the saying at the end, you will later on in the story. Plz review! I own nothing, btw! Only the plot! Not the characters, song, anything! Though, later I'll own some characters.. 


	4. Journey

Journey  
  
A/N sry 4 the wait, ran outta ideas! I also am sry 4 not updating when I said I would, lol. I'll be faster with the updates, I promise. THANKS 4 REVIEWING!  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Let's start out with something easy," Hermione said to Harry and Ron as they walked down the stairs with their suitcases. It was the day they'd be leaving for France, and Hermione was teaching them some French. "Bonjour, or Salut, means hi, or hello. Best say bonjour to strangers, as it's a more proper way."  
  
"Uh..right," Harry said, still confused.  
  
"Well, you'll get it sooner or later. Let's try something else," Hermione said, while thinking. "Comment ca va means 'how are you?', and you'd answer in either comme ce comme ca (sp?), Pas Terrible, ca va, or bof. Though, bof means whatever, so, that's not a really great first impression."  
  
"Heh, bof. That's a neat word..I like it..bof," Ron said, laughing a little, as did Harry and Hermione. They were happy that he was less depressed, or so they thought. Since that terrible day, Ron was still slitting his wrists, but he can't stop himself. When he is sad, angry, or nervous, he usually gets the knife, but after he cuts himself, he gets his wand and heals the wounds. He never means to hurt himself; he just does. Today, though, the Weasley, Harry, and Hermione were headed off to France. Since the compartments were small, and could only fit 2 people, though very tightly, inside, everyone got their own. Of course, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley shared one, and so did Fred and George. As soon they got to the station, they went to go find ttheir compartments. Ron's was across from Hermione's, and Harry's was next to Ron's, so that ment Hermione needed to keep an eye out for Ron. She sat down in the small compartment, and looked out the tiny window. This was going to be a long ride, especially since there wasn't anyone to talk to. Just then, there was a knock on her door.  
  
"Come in," Hermione said, without looking at who it was from the window. When she did look, she saw Ron. "Hey, Ron, what's up?"  
  
"Well, I don't trust myself at the moment," he said, giving her a you- know-what-I-mean look, which she understood instantly.  
  
"You'd better stay her a while, then," she told him, and he sat down. They were in silence when Harry knocked on the door.  
  
"Oh, there you are, Ron. Just wondering," he said, and left.  
  
"Well, that was weird," Hermione smiled, along with Ron, who hardly smiled. 'She can really make me happy' Ron thought.  
  
"Ron..I need to ask you something. You promise to answer?" Hermione said to him.  
  
"Depends on what you ask," Ron replied, making Hermione sighed.  
  
"Well..the time you were in the basement..and all those marks on your wrist..did you try to kill yourself?" she asked him. He looked up at her, but didn't say anything. Hermione begged him with her eyes and he looked at the floor.  
  
"Well, I said I would tell you when we were in France..I guess this is close enough," he said, then paused. "Yes..I tried to kill myself that day..and many days before that, aswell."  
  
"Why?" Hermione asked, while her eyes were huge in shock.  
  
"Sad, depressed, angry..it just..releases the pain, somehow. I know it sounds weird, and all, but it does," Ron said. Hermione sat there for a second, taking it all in, and then got up to give him a hug.  
  
"Ron, if you ever feel the urge to..to try to do that again, just come to Harry or me. We can help you," Hrmione said, while silently crying. She was hoping he wasn't trying to kill himself, even if the clues said so. Ron, too, was crying. He couldn't believe that they cared if he tried killing himself. The only thing that went through his mind was them forgetting him. Hermione and Ron pulled apart, and were staring into eachother's eyes. They were leaning in to kiss. . .suddenly, the train stopped, causing Hermione to fall forward onto Ron. That was when Harry came in.  
  
"Oops, didn't mean to come in at a bad moment," he said, while smiling. Quickly, they got up and seated themselves.  
  
"The train just stopped, and I flew forward, that's all," Hermione said, blushing. "He's like a brother to me, so don't think so sickly, Harry." She smiled at it, to tell him she wasn't mad, but what she said wasn't true though. In a way, it was, but she loved Ron more than that. She wanted to marry him, to have him, but she wasn't sure he wanted her. And if his urges of death don't stop, she might not have him, even as a friend.  
  
Ron sat there, looking at the floor. 'Just a brother to her?' he thought. 'Then again, why would she like someone too poor for anything?'. He looked around for a sharp object, and remembered what he had in his pocket. He couldn't get it out in front of them, because they'd take it away, but since they were already in France, he could stale and say he needed to use the restroom. When they, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Fred and George got off the train, Ron said he needed to use the restroom.  
  
"I need to use it aswell," Harry said, following Ron. He knew quiet well that Ron didn't need to go, so that made him suspect. When he got in, there was no sign of Ron.  
  
"Ron?" Harry said, but no answer. That's when he panicked. Ron, though, then came into the bathroom. "There you are! Where were you?"  
  
"No where," Ron replied, not looking up. He went into the stall, and took out his wand. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid,' he though, and healed the cut. It didn't seem like the pain would ever go away. When Ron was done, he and Harry left, and went looking for the rest. Harry kept watching him carefully, and tried to see if he saw any new cuts. When they found the others, they left for the hotel. Since it was so close, they walked, even if the bags they had to carry were heavy.  
  
"Oh, it's such a beautiful place! I'm surprised we got so much for so little," Mrs. Weasley said.  
  
"Hermione, do you need any help?" Ron asked her. She had a ton of bags to carry.  
  
"Nope, I'm fine, but thanks anyways," she said, but Ron didn't take no for an answer.  
  
"No, really, Hermione, I can take something," he saidm and she gave in. He took the one she was having the most trouble with, and they kept walking. 'He's so nice and helpful' Hermione thought, as she watched him. 'Why can't I have him?'. Finally, they turned the corner only to stop in front of a huge hotel. It was more than 30 stories high, and ever room had a balcony. In the middle of a grassy area around the hotel,  
  
"There's the place we're stayin at! Let's check in," Mrs. Weasley said, and they entered the building. Hermione looked over at Ron, who looked over at her. Quickly, they looked away, but both were smiling. 'What a long trip this'll be' they both thought, as they walked to their rooms.  
~*~*~  
A/N I wasn't sure whether 2 put them together yet. I was like, "Should they kiss?" then I thought "Maybe not..wait..THEY CAN HAVE AN AWKWARD MOMENT" lol, I'm so weird. PLZ REVIEW!! AND I'LL HAVE THE NEXT CHAPPY UP SOON! 


	5. Will it Ever End?

Will It Ever End?  
A/N here's the next chapter! Hope you like it! r/r plz!  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Ok, here we are. Rooms 98 and 99," Mr. Weasley said, as they stopped in front of two doors and opening one. It was a very beautiful and big room. It was like a house more than a hotel room. The bed sheets and blinds were a goldish brown color, and the floor was a very snowy color; it was soft as fluff. There was a tv, tons of lamps, a huge bathroom, and even a walk-in closet. Right next to one of the double beds was a glass door that lead to a balcony.  
  
"Ok, Ron, you, Ginny, Hermione and Harry can share this room, and me, your father, Fred and George'll share the other," Mrs. Weasley told them, and they went to look at their room, while Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny started setting their bags down. It was surprising that Mrs. Weasley suggested that they share rooms, since the events in the 4th year. They didn't mention anything, because she might change her mind.  
  
"Look at the view!" Ginny said, running over to the balcony, as the others followed. It was overlooking a beautiful lake. By now, the sun was setting, so it was even more beautiful. Even if it was, Hermione was very shaky, because she was afraid of heights. Ron was a little afraid aswell, but not too badly. He took notice of Hermione slightly shaking, and he smiled.  
  
"Don't like heights?" he asked her, and she nodded. "Me too."  
  
"They don't bother me at all," Ginny said, leaning over the rail a little.  
  
"We can see that," Harry said, laughing nervously.  
  
"Is it just me, or does Harry seem worried?" Ron whispered to Hermione.  
  
"It's not you, that's for sure. I think someone's in love," she replied. Ron froze in his spot, thinking of what she said. If Harry was falling for Ginny..he'd tell him, right? 'Maybe not,' Ron thought. 'He might've thought I'd kill him..which I would.' They all went inside and started to unpack.  
  
"I'm going to check to see if they have anything to drink," Ron said, getting up. Hermione shot Harry a look, and he got up.  
  
"Same here," he said, and they both left.  
  
"I'm going to check to see what we're doing tomorrow," Ginny said, and went to the other room. Hermione sighed, and started to unpack some more. She went to put her brush in the bathroom when she saw a notebook. 'Who's is this?' she thought, and opened the first page. It had a ton of writing on it, in almost every color. On the first page, there was a poem:  
  
Hatred and pain is all I feel,  
  
Been told I'm loved, but it aint real.  
  
Have no meaning, no reason to live,  
  
I have nothing to give.  
  
Why would anyone love me??  
  
I'm a Freak, can't u see??  
  
I'm the kid no one loves,  
  
the one no one wants to hug.  
  
All I want is someone to hold,  
  
It's the best part of life, or so I'm told.  
  
It kills me to see all the couples in school,  
  
Being the only one single, I feel like a fool.  
  
I hate being teased because I have no one!!  
  
Well when your all dead, that will be done.  
  
Then I'll be left all alone,  
  
With my love un-known.  
  
Hermione looked on the back of the cover page and it said, "Owned by: Ron Weasley". She stood there in shock. The poem was written recently, so that ment Ron wasn't over death. Tears welled up in her eyes as she put the notebook back. She couldn't look any further in the notebook to see her crush in so much pain. Just then, the door opened. It was Ron.  
  
"Harry's having a bit of trouble with the machines, so he went to get help. He just told me to come back here," he said. When Hermione didn't answer, he took notice. "What's wrong Hermione?"  
  
"N-nothing," she said, trying to sound normal, but it didn't work.  
  
"I know something is, Hermione. Come on. You can tell me," Ron begged, but she didn't say anything; just shook her head. He looked around the room, and saw his notebook on the counter. 'Oh, no..' Ron thought. Why did he just leave it lying there? "You saw my notebook?" she slowly nodded.  
  
"I was just putting something away and I saw it. I opened it to see who it belonged to..and..and.." Hermione started saying, but she couldn't finish. She went over and hugged him. "Ron, please don't do anything bad. We can't lose you; I can't lose you."  
  
"I won't. I promise," Ron whispered to her. He couldn't believe that she was so hurt. They heard the door open again, and they quickly let go. The person who entered was Harry.  
  
"All that trouble for a flat soda.." he mumbled, not saying anything about Ron and Hermione. "Never get drinks here..I even bet the food's flat. And it took me a bit to get someone to help me, considering I don't speak French. Do you know how to say, 'your stupid machine won't give me my soda, and I spent a lot for it. Can you PLEASE help me?', Hermione?"  
  
"Uh..I don't think so, Harry," Hermione smiled while trying to hide her red, puffy eyes. When Ginny got back, they started talking.  
  
"Hey, Hermione? You said earlier that you were afraid of heights..why's that?" Harry asked her. She looked to the ground, and thought. 'Should I tell them?' She looked back up.  
  
"Well, when I was younger, I was, you know, exploring things. My parents wouldn't let me by the stairs, but when they were sleeping, I got up and tried to climb down them. 'Course, I didn't really make it. I fell right down them, and there were about 24 hard stairs. Cut my head open, and broke my arm," Hermione said, though it was only the half truth; of course she cut her head open and broke her arm..but she wasn't trying to climb down them; nor up.  
  
"Woah.." was all they said. they didn't ask any more questions, and they fell asleep..all but Hermione. She couldn't help but think of what happened that day..the day every horrible thing started for her. . . . . .  
  
***Fear is nothing but the anticipation of pain, be it physical, mental, spiritual or emotional.***  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N Wow..I used a big word..welled..lol, or at least a word I never used in my stories b4, heh. Snails rule, btw _@/ºº _@/ºº Lol, well, hoped ya liked it.. I kept thinkin..  
  
"That's not how you spell heights  
  
..I know..I was just testing you *Cough*"  
  
lol, well..PLZ REVIEW!! THANKS 2 THOSE WHO DID! LUV U! 


	6. The Truth

The Truth  
  
A/N Had to start it. Couldn't help myself. Thx 4 reviewing!  
  
~*~*~  
  
Hermione woke up suddenly. It was late at night still, and she felt very dizzy. In an instant, she got up and walked out onto the balcony, without a single control over herself. Then she climbed on the bars that seperated the cement from the air. Slowly, she leaned forward. . . . . . .  
  
Before anything happened, Ron pulled her back, waking her up. They landed on the cold, hard ground.  
  
"What happened?" she asked, rubbing her head.  
  
"I dunno, you just got up and went out here," Ron said, still holding her around the waist. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Y-yeah.." Hermione said, but then sighed. "Actually..no..I'm not. I need to tell you something."  
  
"Go ahead, then," Ron said.  
  
"Remember what I told you about my fear of heights?" she asked him, and he nodded. "That's not the entire truth. Around that age, my dad started drinking late at night at these bars, and came home all drunk. Well, one evening, I was in my room, sleeping and I heard him pull up in the driveway. My mum was out working late that night. I slowly walked to the edge of the stairs and saw him stumble in. Not knowing any better, I asked if he were alright, and he told me to 'shut the fuck up'. Being drunk and all, dad said it was my fault that he was like this, and that he wished I wasn't born. He started swearing at me, and saying I was a mistake; that's when I cried. My dad came up the stairs and called me weak and stupid, then he pushed me down the stairs." She took a breath, paused, then continued.  
  
"When I hit the first step, I fainted, but when I woke up, it was day time, and my parents were coming downstairs. They screamed at the sight of me, and called the hospital; dad didn't remember the night before, and I guess mum didn't see me when she got in that night. After they put stitches on my head and put a cast on me, I had no choice but to tell them what exactly happened. They called themselves horrible parents, and were repeatedly saying sorry. Then dad promised to never drink again, or at least too much. It was a lie, though. I've never hated heights until then," Hermione said while tears stung her eyes. Ron sat there in complete shock and anger. How could anyone treat their own child like that? Not just any child, but Hermione. He never thought that behind her smart, prettyness  
  
"It's ok Hermione, it's ok," Ron whispered to her, stroking her hair softly. She tried not to cry, but once in a while tears fell from her eyes. "You're not a mistake; you never will be.  
  
"That's not all, though," Hermione said through her crying. "I'm not sure I should say."  
  
"You can tell me. I won't tell anyone, if you want, " Ron said to her, and she took a shaky deep breath and started to continue.  
  
"Well, four years after that night, my dad called me to the living room while mum was at the store. He told me that he was a wizard, and was mostly a pureblood. I was all excited and in disbelief, but then he said he hated it. He wished he wasn't a wizard, and he never told any muggles but my mum. I didn't know what was going to happen next, but I knew he was drunk yet again. Then he told me that I was most likely going to be a witch, but, since he hated magic, he put a spell on me." She looked at Ron, who seemed a bit confused.  
  
"If he hated magic, why'd he use it on you? And *what* did he use on you?" he asked.  
  
"That's what I thought when he said he was going to cast a spell, the Comenter Suvyear spell, but then I knew why once he did it. It was a spell that caused me to do hottible things a couple of times a year. Things that could kill me. I was a witch, and he didn't like it," Hermione said, sniffing a couple of times. Ron got tears in his own eyes, and he wanted so badly to kiss her pain away. He couldn't, though. She didn't love him the way he loved her. They didn't move all night, falling asleep in eachother's arms.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Harry woke up, facing Ginny, who was staring back. Both blushed and turned on their backs, then got up.  
  
"Where's Ron and Hermione?" Ginny asked, looking around the room.  
  
"I dunno," Harry replied, feeling a bit worried. Knowing Ron, he could be hurt somewhere, but Hermione gone aswell? Maybe they're together..Ginny then sighed in relief.  
  
"There they are," she said, pointing at the balcony. Ron had his arms around Hermione's stomach. "Awww."  
  
"I need details," Harry said, smiling. Just then, both Ron and Hermione woke up, noticing they had an audience. Soon enough, they pulled apart.  
  
"Long story," Hermione said, after taking a look at Harry and Ginny, who were smiling. 'Bet it was,' Harry thought, and they went back in, closing the door. Neither Ron nor Hermione looked each other in the eyes for a couple of hours after they woke up. She remembered telling him everything about her dad, and she didn't regret one thing. Being open to him was important..she might lose him forever one day. But today was the day they went exploring. Just Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, so, soon enough they were ready and leaving the hotel. The other Weasleys were going to stay there for just a while longer. It was a warm, sunny day, and a lot of people were out.The first place they were headed off to was the park, since it was closer than anything else,  
  
"It's so beautiful!" Hermione said, as they all sat on a bench. There were a couple of guys around their age playing basketball not far from them. One of guys looked over at Hermione and smiled. Ron felt his face turn red in anger, but tried to hide it, but Harry noticed.  
  
"Why don't we just walk around a bit," he said, and they agreed. He was determined to get Ron and Hermione together. And Ginny..no, he couldn't be falling for her..could he? Ginny was thinking the same thing aswell..they'd just have to wait. When they got back to the hotel, it was starting to get dark, and they were the only ones there. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Fred and George were still out, but when they got back, they had great news.  
  
"Tomorrow is this party, where they'll be having food, drinks, and dancing," Mrs. Weasley said, and everyone got very excited.  
  
"What time?" Ron asked.  
  
"It starts at 6:00 P.M," she answered, and they all got ready for bed.  
  
"Ohh, I can't WAIT for tomorrow," Ginny squeeled.  
  
"Me, too! It'll sure be a lot of fun," Hermione replied. Neither Harry nor Ron said anything, but they were excited as much as the girls were. 'Tomorrow,' Harry thought, 'is the say that I get Hermione and Ron together..like they should be,' and he fell asleep. Ron, though, was thinking about the guy at the park, and he was also thinking:  
  
"The beginning Of All Things To End? or The End Of All Things To Come?"  
  
He sighed and fell asleep. Hermione, though, was still awake. 'That guy at the park..he seemed interested..but I love Ron, even if he doesn't love me..' she thought, and looked over at him. He was sleeping on his stomach, with his head turned on the pillow. She wished that she could wake up next to him..but that might never happen..and tomorrow..will those boys be there? What would Ron do? So many things to think of..and after a while of lying awake, she fell asleep.  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N THIS IS NOT THE END..lol..oh, sry if there's spelling mistakes. I wanted to get this up soon, so I kinda rushed with typing. Well, hoped ya liked it!! PLZ REVIEW!! THANKS IF YOU DID! 


	7. The Big Party

The Big Party  
A/N Ok, sry 4 the wait. 3 days, I know..but *3* days!! Lol, well, thnxs 4 reviewing!!  
  
~*~*~  
  
It was the next day and all that Hermione, Harry, and Weasley's did was sit around, waiting for the party. Sometimes Harry caught Ron and Hermione glancing at each other. 'The party would be a perfect chance to get them together' he thought. 'I have my own things to plan as well, though' and he looked at Ginny, who was staring into space.  
  
"We should get ready," Mrs. Weasley said. "It's 6:30 already." Everyone got up to get dressed. Hermione took the walk-in closet and Ginny took the bathroom, making Harry and Ron wait.  
  
"Ron?" Harry said, looking at him.  
  
"Yeah?" Ron answered, staring at the walk-in closet.  
  
"W-would you be mad if-if I, you know..dance with Ginny at the party tonight?" Harry asked Ron. That made him take his eyes off the closet, and stare at him. They were full of fire that made Harry back away just a bit.  
  
"I swear, Potter, if you lay a finger on her-" Ron started to threaten, but Hermione came out of the closet just in time. She paused at the sight of Ron pointing a threatening finger at Harry, then shook it off.  
  
"You can use the closet now," she said, and Harry ran into it. Then there was a sound of things being stacked against the door so that no one (most likely Ron) could get in.  
  
"What was that about?" Hermione asked Ron.  
  
"Nothing.." he lied, but she took notice.  
  
"Oh, it's something. What happened?" she asked again.  
  
"Well, he asked me if I'd get mad if he danced with Ginny," Ron told her.  
  
"I guess we know what your answer was, then," Hermione laughed. "It was surely a no."  
  
"Damn right," Ron said.  
  
"Well, lets get into something less threatening. Do you think I dressed up too much?" Hermione asked Ron. He didn't take notice of anything she was wearing since she came out. She had a long white skirt that was made of silk, a white tank top that had the words "Virgo" on it (A/N Wish I did, cause that's what I am, lol), and a shell necklace. Her hair was the same, though, but it didn't matter, because Ron thought she was beautiful anyways.  
  
"Y-you look beautiful," Ron stuttered out while blushing.  
  
"Thanks," Hermione said, blushing as well. Just then, Ginny came out of the bathroom and Ron went in to change.  
  
"I heard Ron threatening someone.." Ginny started, but Hermione cut in.  
  
"Harry," she told her.  
  
"Why?" Ginny asked, and Hermione shrugged and sat on the bed. When Ron and Harry finished (and Harry staying far away from Ron), all the Weasley's, Hermione, and Ron left. It was a very warm, clear, beautiful night so they decided to walk. Ron looked at Hermione a couple of times, and when she caught him staring, he'd quickly look away. When they reached the party, it was already started, so they quickly found an empty table. Some muggle songs were playing, and almost everyone was dancing to it. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny sat down as the twins went to look for girls and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley went to get some drinks.  
  
"Seems fun," Harry said, looking around.  
  
"I'll say. I'm not much of a fast dancer, so, I need to stay here," Ginny told them, and Harry smiled evily. Before he said anything, he looked at Ron, and gave him a can-I look. Ron rolled his eyes, sighed, and nodded.  
  
"I bet you're a great fast dancer. Come on," Harry said, taking Ginny's hand and dragging her to the dance floor. Hermione laughed as Harry tried to get Ginny to dance.  
  
"They're so cute together," she said, smiling at the face Ron was making.  
  
"You scare me sometimes," he laughed. "I guess you're right though. Those two seems like the right match..whether I like it or not." Hermione looked around at the people who were there. She then saw the boys from the park. The one that smiled at her then winked when he saw she was staring at him. Hermione quickly looked away. After 2 hours, a slow song came on. Everyone, and I mean everyone, got a partner and started to dance. Even Harry and Ginny were slow dancing. Only people that weren't on the dance floor were Ron, Hermione, and the boy from the park. They looked at each other, and then Ron spoke up.  
  
"Do you want to dance?" he asked her, and she nodded. It looked the the boy from the park wanted to dance with her, but he was too late. Ron took her hand and led her to an open space on the dance floor. Hermione put her arms around Ron's neck, and Ron put his hands on Hermione's waist.  
  
Harry and Ginny looked over in their direction, and smiled.  
  
"Finally," Harry said.  
  
"It's so sweet," Ginny said as Hermione rested her head on Ron's shoulder, and Ron smiled.  
  
"Now Ron won't-" Harry started to say, but stopped, because Ginny didn't know that Ron tried to kill himself. Unluckily, she heard him.  
  
"He won't what?" Ginny asked. Harry gave in; she had the right to know.  
  
"Well, a couple of weeks ago, Ron tried to..to..kill himself," Harry whispered, and Ginny gasped.  
  
"But why??" she asked, shocked.  
  
"Well, he loved Hermione, but he thought she didn't love him, so he..cut his wrist, and several times," Harry said. Ginny had gotton tears in her eyes. "Don't worry, Ginny! He's better now, because I think he knows she loves him." He wiped a tear away from her eyes, and looked at her. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips, and she kissed back.  
  
Ron looked over at Harry and Ginny just as they did so, and sighed a heavy sigh. If Ginny wanted to be with Harry, then he'd just have to get over it. She could take care of herself. The slow song ended and Hermione lifted her head to face Ron. Just when they were about to kiss for the second time, they heard thunder.  
  
"We better get going," they heard Mr. Weasley say, and they pulled apart. As quickly as possible, they all ran to the hotel.  
  
"I'm going to stay out for a couple of seconds to catch the scenery," Hermione told them.  
  
"You know your room number?" Mrs. Weasley asked. She nodded and the rest went in. Hermione took a walk along the front of the hotel when she saw the guy from the park walking towards her. He saw her and smiled as he hurried to meet up with her.  
  
"Hey," he said as he stopped in front of Hermione.  
  
"Hey," she replied.  
  
"My name's Josh. What's yours?" he asked her, holding out his hand to shake her's.  
  
"I'm Hermione," she told him, shaking it.  
  
"I remember seeing you in the park," he said as they started walking.  
  
"Yup, I saw you, too. And at the party," Hermione said. After 30 minutes of walking and rewalking around the hotel and getting to know each other, Hermione decided to go in.  
  
"Maybe we can talk sometime?" Josh asked hopefully.  
  
"Yeah, that'd be great," Hermione said, smiling. Before she knew it, he leaned in and softly kissed her on the lips. He pulled away, smiling, and headed in the opposite direction while waving at her. Hermione just stood there in shock, not knowing someone watched it all from the story. . . . . . .  
  
A/N I hoped ya liked this chappy. Went kinda fast, didn't it? Well, I'm in a hurry cause I'm going to my friends, so I want to finish this soon. PLZ REVIEW!! AND THANKS IF YA DID! 


	8. Attempt

Attempt  
  
A/N Upon waited, I've updated..lol..Ok, I just had to finish this..or at least start it. Not much to say now, but thanks 4 reviewing. I did rush a bit b4, haven't I? I was in a hurry though. Don't ya get that excitement in writing where you HAVE to finish b4 you had to get off? I did with the last chapter, lol. Well, hope this one's better.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Hermione opened the door to her room and found Harry and Ginny watching tv. Ron, though, wasn't there.  
  
"What took you?" Ginny asked.  
  
"Got sidetracked," Hermione said, not looking at them. She wasn't going to tell them about Josh, especially Ron. Speaking of Ron. . ."Where's Ron?"  
  
"On the balcony," Harry said. She bit her lip, while bad thoughts when through her head. What if Ron saw the whole thing? Hermione went through the sliding glass door and saw Ron leaning on the railing.  
  
"Hey Ron," she said cautiously.  
  
"Hey," he said dully. It looked like he was very upset.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked, afraid of what he'd say. He just shook his head like he couldn't talk.  
  
"Hermione, can you come her for a sec?" Ginny asked from the other room, and without another choice, Hermione left Ron alone.  
  
"Do you know what's wrong with Ron?" she asked Ginny, who shook her head.  
  
"That's what I was going to ask you," she said. "He was fine up until he came back from the balcony. He came in, looking VERY upset, and he used the bathroom, and went back outside."  
  
"He used the bathroom? Did you notice anything different when he came back out?" Hermione asked.  
  
"No..well, he was holding his arm, but casually," Ginny told her, and both she and Harry gasped.  
  
"He didn't.." Harry said, getting up, but Hermione stopped him.  
  
"No, Harry. If he wants to tell use, he can. He doesn't have to," she told him, and he sighed, sitting back down."By the way, what time is it?"  
  
"Let me check.." Ginny said, looking at the watch on her hand. "Oh, my god, it's a little past midnight. We better get some sleep." They all got up to get changed and head to bed, taking a glance at Ron. . .but would it be their last?  
  
~*~*~  
  
There was a sudden breeze that went pass Hermione, waking her up. It was barely 2 in the morning. She looked around the room and saw that the balcony door was opened. Was Ron still there? Hermione got up, wrapped a robe around her, and walked over to the door. She saw that Harry was in bed, but Ron wasn't. She also saw a familiar notebook, opened on Ron's side of the bed. Taking a very deep breath, she picked it up and read the opened page. It said:  
  
Another day has just gone by  
  
I'm thinking about you all the time  
  
The problem, though, is that you don't love me  
  
I'm not stupid, I can see  
  
It hurts to not be loved by you  
  
I could have made all your dreams come true  
  
But you chose a different path to follow  
  
Probably thinking I'm so hollow  
  
Don't worry, though, I'll get much better  
  
Death is what I mean by in this letter  
  
I send my love to all my friends  
  
telling them my heart can't mend  
  
My family is who I loved so dearly  
  
Coming by to visit yearly  
  
Good-bye is how to put this all  
  
Before I choose to step and fall  
  
Hermione dropped the notebook and ran to the balcony, where she found Ron standing on the rails as she once did, but he ment to do this.  
  
"RON! Don't!" she begged him. He turned around to face her.  
  
"Why not?" he said.  
  
"Because you don't need to. Why would you want to die, anyways?" Hermione asked him.  
  
"Why? No one loves me, that's why," he said, and looked at the ground. "I can stop the pain now."  
  
"Ron, please, don't do it. You know that everyone loves you," Hermione said, about to cry. What if he went through with it? No one could survive a fall from this high..he'd be gone forever.  
  
"I'm going through with it no matter what any one says. I don't want to live, so I don't have to," Ron said, and turned to face Hermione again. "Before I go, though, I need to tell you something. I love you. I have for a very long time, but I can't have you. Harry can fill you in on the rest. Good-bye, Hermione, I'll always love you no matter what, even if you don't love me." He was about to jump when Harry and Ginny came on the balcony.  
  
"No, Ron, stop!" Ginny cried out, and he did. "Don't do this."  
  
"I have to," Ron said. "I can't waist anymore time now. Look in my notebook and you'll see what I wrote to each of you. I love you guys, but I do not need to live. Good-bye." And with that, he jumped off.  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N Nasty lil' cliffhanger? Mwahaha..I'm evil.I was gonna add more on after the end of this, but you'll have to wait next chappy, heh. And did you like the poem? I wrote it myself, just like it is. In my head, and stuff. Sorry if it was kind of long, I get carried away with poems, lol. 


	9. Really?

Really?  
  
A/N k, here's the next chappy! Hope ya like it! Oh, and extreme gooyness towards the end! THANKS 4 REVIEWING, TOO!  
  
~*~*~  
  
"RON!" Hermione cried, running to the rail, seeing him falling. Harry ran back into the building, and came back with his broom. He jumped on it and flew down after him. After about 5 or 10 minutes, which Ginny and Hermione weren't watching, Harry came back up. . .with Ron hanging on the broom. They came down off of it and Hermione ran to give Ron a hug.  
  
"Why'd you do that, Ron?" she cried. Ginny also came into the hug, and Harry patted his back. Ron, however, looked very unhappy.  
  
"Ron, please, you shouldn't be happy about death," Hermione said.  
  
"Yes, I should," Ron said, sighing. Harry, Hermione, and Ginny looked at each other, breathing very hard.  
  
"Ron, why do you want to die so badly?" Hermione asked him, and he stopped breathing.  
  
"I-I can't say in front of so many people," Ron whispered, while looking at the ground, trying to not look up. It was just something he never got use to. Telling a deep secret in front of more than one person is hard.  
  
"Then you can tell Hermione. We'll just leave you guys here, because we already know why," Harry said.  
  
"We do?" Ginny said, a little confused. Harry looked at her, sighed, then dragged her out of the room.  
  
"Well? Why'd you do it?" Hermione asked Ron. She really wanted him to tell her, and he had no choice but to do so. Besides, sooner or later she'll find out; better make it now.  
  
"Remember what I told you? Before I jumped?" Ron whispered, still looking at the ground.  
  
"Well, there were a couple of things that stood out," Hermione said, blushing just a little bit.  
  
"One of the last things I said," Ron whispered again. "The part where I said I-I loved you. I thought you were with Vicky-I mean Viktor-, so it upset me."  
  
"But I don't liked him in that way. I never ever liked him more than a friend, even," Hermione said.  
  
"Well, just today, I saw you with that one guy, and then I saw him kiss you," he said, blushing furiously, and so did Hermione.  
  
"I don't like him, either. We just met, anyways," she said.  
  
"So, then who do you like?" Ron asked.  
  
"Well. . .you," Hermione said, looking straight into his eyes. It took her a lot of bravery to do that.  
  
"Really?" he asked, hardly beliving it. She nodded. It was a dream come true for Ron. He looked into her eyes and silently asked her to do what he was about to do, and she nodded. Ron leaned forward, and, for the first time and after two tries, he kissed her. It wasn't a short kiss, but a long, passionate one.  
  
Harry and Ginny looked out the door and saw them.  
  
"Aww," Ginny said, sighing happily. "It's about time they kissed!" Harry nodded. He looked over at Ginny and she looked at him. Very slowly, they leaned in and kissed as well. After about 10 minutes, they were interrupted by Ron and Hermione coming in.  
  
"Woah, Potter!" Ron said. "Do you have to kiss my sister right in front of me?" Harry smiled. "I guess it's alright, because you did save my life. Thanks, by the way." Ron smiled and put his arm around Hermione's waist. She was smiling as well.  
  
"What now?" Harry asked, and all four of them looked at each other.  
  
"I don't know about you, but.." Ron said, and looked at Hermione. He nodded his head towards the balcony and, they both left to go to it, closing the door. Harry laughed and Ginny smiled. Things were going to be just fine. . .with Hermine and Ron, that is.  
  
"What do you wanna do?" Harry asked Ginny, who shrugged. She then widely yawned. "Bed?" she nodded slowly and they went to bed, not in the same one, but pulled them a little bit closer while holding hands. But about an hour after they fell asleep, they heard some yelling. They instantly woke up and looked around, seeing the balcony door opened.  
  
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, RONALD WEASLEY!!" they heard someone yell. At first, Harry and Ginny thought it was Hermione, but it was a bit older sounding. . .like Mrs. Weasley.  
  
"Mum!" Ron yelled back, though not as loudly.  
  
"There is NO reason for this," Mrs. Weasley yelled, and that's when Harry and Ginny got up to check what was happening. They saw Mrs. Weasley standing angerly in front of Ron, and Hermione next to him.  
  
"What happened?" Ginny asked.  
  
"Your brother almost decided to go a little too far," Mrs. Weasley said, breathing very hard.  
  
"What do you mean?" Harry now asked.  
  
"He and Hermione..they..you know what I mean!" she almost yelled. She wasn't mad at him, but she was really frustrated. They then noticed Ron without a shirt. "That's just too much. Ron, I need to talk to you." She left, and Ron, shaking, followed.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"How could you do this??? You're so young!" she said in a regular voice. Ron was about to reply when his mum suddenly asked, "What's that on your arms?" He looked at them and quickly put his hand over it. She had seen the scars.  
  
"It's nothing," he mumbled, but she didn't buy it.  
  
"Ronald Arthur Weasley, tell me what that is," she said, getting annoyed by his stalling.  
  
"Um, I, uh, fell and scratched my arms with something sharp?" Ron said, trying to sound truthful. Luckily, Mrs. Weasley bought it.  
  
"Well, back to the subject. What were you THINKING?" Mrs. Weasley said, getting mad again.  
  
"Mum, I'm telling you, it's my life, I can do what I want," Ron said bravely.  
  
"Not until you're 18 can you do what you want," Mrs. Weasley said.  
  
"Not with everything," Ron simply said. Mrs. Weasley looked surprised that he said that, as he usually coward over her; not that she liked it when he was afraid of her. It was just a change.  
  
"Well, it is with this," she finally said. "I can't have you going around doing things like this."  
  
"But I won't," he said. "I know it can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing." Mrs. Weasley stared in his eyes, seeing there was full determination on winning the fight in them. It seemed to her that Ron loved Hermione, she'll give him that, but still, it isn't right.  
  
"I agree with you on that, Ron, but this is something that needs to be waited on in a later age," Mrs. Weasley said. She felt a bit sorry for saying what she was about to say. "You'll have to switch rooms with your father and me. So you'll be sharing with Harry, Fred and George in one room."  
  
"Mum! How can you do this?" he cried.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ron, but it's for your own good," she replied. "But, I'll make you a deal. You won't have to switch this instant, if you don't do that with Hermione just yet." Even though Ron wanted to argue, one last night with Hermione would be better than no night at all. He nodded sadly, and left out back onto the balcony. Harry, Hermione, and Ginny quickly looked up as he entered, but they didn't ask any questions. They could tell by his eyes that things didn't go so good.  
  
"Harry, we have to switch with mum and dad tomorrow, so it'll be me, you, Fred, and George in one room," Ron quietly said, repeating his mother's words. Harry sighed sadly, and got up, taking Ginny's hand to follow him. Ron and Hermione sat in silence for a few minutes until Hermione spoke.  
  
"Ron, I'm sorry, I--" she started, but Ron cut her off.  
  
"It's not your fault, 'Mione," he said.  
  
"Yes it is," she said, getting up and sitting next to him on the other side of the balcony floor. Ron sighed.  
  
"It's not fair. I'm being treated like a little kid," he said. Hermione took his hand to try to calm him down. She seemed to be the only one who could do so. "I can't wait until I move out, and be able to do what I think's right, and not what mum thinks is. I want to be 18 so I can marry you, Hermione."  
  
"Oh, Ron," she said, hugging him. That's when they fell asleep, with no care in the world because they had each other. Ron now had no excuse for death, but he didn't want to die, no matter what. Life was precious to him, so he can't be taken away from it. Sometimes he thought, 'what happens if it's ever taken away from me?' and he knows what he'd do, though he hoped he'd never have to. As I once said, and as an old saying goes, 'Old habits are hard to break.' . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N Ok, you might find it sickining, but yes, they tried to "do it". TRIED. They didn't, and yes..I know..on the balcony. Luckily for them, no one would be able to see them cause the put a charm so no one could. I had to put this to get an argument w/ Ron and his mum, cause it'll apply later in chapters, so don't worry, I have a meaning for all of this. And I can't write Ron getting hurt, otherwise I might've, lol. Plz review, and thanks 4 reviewing if u already did! 


	10. A Very Disturbing Visit

A Very Disturbing Visit  
  
A/N I AM SOOOOOO SORRY 4 NOT UPDATING!!!!!! I didn't know if I should or not, but I did, hope u like it! r/r!  
  
~*~*~  
  
Ron woke up instantly. It was all a dream, everything. Jumping from the balcony, telling Hermione he loved her, none of it was real. He looked around and everyone was asleep. Ron slowly and quietly got up, went on the balcony, and looked at the scene. All he wished was that the part where Hermione and that guy kissed wasn't real. Only problem was, it was as real as he was. Just then, he heard some movements behind him, and he turned around.  
  
"Hey, Hermione," he said, looking back at the dark sky.  
  
"Ron, are you ok?" she asked, standing next to him, also staring at the sky.  
  
"Yeah, why?" he asked. "Oh, that..I'm fine, really."  
  
"Are you sure? You don't want t-to kill yourself now, right?" Hermione whispered.  
  
"Right," Ron said. "Well.."  
  
"What?" Hermione asked instantly.  
  
"I can't tell you," Ron said, going red.  
  
"Yes you can, and you will," Hermione said, smiling a fake evil smile. Ron looked at her, and sighed.  
  
"I had a dream. More like a nightmare," he said.  
  
"What was it about?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Things..like, one part was me jumping off the balcony," he whispered the last part.  
  
"You're not..you'd never.." Hermione tried saying, while pointing at the ground, and Ron shook his head.  
  
"I don't think so," he said, and that made Hermione gasp and hugged him.  
  
"Don't ever jump! Please Ron, we talked about this," she cried into his shoulders. She was shaking very badly, Ron noticed.  
  
"I won't, I never will," he replied, holding her closely.  
  
"Let's go in, this balcony gives me the shivers," Hermione said, and they bith went inside, and fell asleep. It may have taken a while, but they did.  
  
~*~*~  
  
The next morning felt weird. The dream Ron had last night was still fresh in his memory. After eating breakfast, everyone went for a walk around their hotel. Hermione kept looking at Ron nervously every once in a while. As lunch came around, they all went to a wizarding place that served food, drinks, and some candy. Since their group was large, they had to have 2 different tables. They were even on different sides of the building. Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny shared one, and the others shared another one.  
  
"Ron, should you tell Harry and Ginny about the dream?" Hermione whispered to him when they sat down. He looked at her in a horrified look and shook his head, making Hermione sigh. They sat in the booth quietly, like each of them were afraid to speak. Harry, Hermione, and Ginny kept glancing at each other nervously about Ron, and since they all were close, close friends, practically bonded, they could almost read each other's eyes. (A/N the next part is them talking to each other by eyes, not by mouth, but it'll seem like they are)  
  
"What's wrong with Ron?" Harry asked.  
  
"I don't know if I should tell you," Hermione said.  
  
"What???" Ginny asked eagerly.  
  
"Well.." Hermione started, and told them the story, or dream, really, that Ron had told her. In the end, each looked frightened. They then looked at Ron, who was reading the menu. He felt three pairs of eyes staring at him, and he looked up to see he was correct. Each of his three friends were staring at him nervously, but when they saw him looking, they turned away. Ron sighed, and looked at Hermione. (A/N AGAIN, eye reading!)  
  
"What was that about?" Ron asked.  
  
"Nothing," Hermione replied.  
  
"Come on.." Ron said. "You told them my dream, didn't you?"  
  
"Uh..yeah," Hermione admitted. "They needed to know! Ginny's your sister and Harry is your best friend!"  
  
"I know, I know," Ron said, "but they're going to keep full watch on me! I wouldn't be surprise if they put a hole in the wall of the bathroom so they could check on me if I'm in there too long."  
  
"We won't go that crazy," Hermoine said, smiling. "We just don't won't you to do something you'll regret later on."  
  
"Trust me, If I do, I won't regret it," Ron replied, and looked away, leaving Hermione in complete shock. After a few minutes of silence, a person with a low voice came up to them.  
  
"Herm-own-ninny!" it said, and Ron knew how he said Hermione's name, he was Viktor Krum.  
  
"I haff not seen you in a long time!" he said, giving her a hug. Hermione quickly looked at Ron, and he was looking at the menu.  
  
"We saw each other not too long ago, Viktor," Hermione whispered to him, so Ron couldn't over hear.  
  
"I know, but it's still long. I've missed you," Viktor said, loud enough for Ron, Harry, and Ginny to hear. Hermione nodded her head at him, as if saying she missed him to. The truth was, she didn't. She wished he had never showed up in the first place.  
  
"I've got something for you, Herm-own-ninny," Viktor said, reaching his hand into his pocket, but didn't pull it out. "Ve have been seeing each other for a while, right?"  
  
"Well, not real--" Hermione started to say, but Viktor interrupted.  
  
"Vell, I really love you, and I vant to be with you forever. Vill you marry me?" Viktor said, taking his hand out and revealing a velvet box with a ring in it. Hermione sat there in shock, unable to answer. That was too much for Ron. He excused himself from the table and went to the bathroom. Harry hurried after him, just in case, and Ginny got up as well.  
  
"Viktor, you're a nice guy and all, but I just can't marry you," Hermione said, and Viktor looked sad.  
  
"Vhy not?" he asked.  
  
"I'm not in love with you. We actually never dated," Hermione said, secretly enjoying saying this. Now, from sad, he went to boiling in anger.  
  
"Vhat is your problem?" he hissed angerly at her, and took her hand, and dragged her out of the building without a word from her.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Ron, open the stall," Harry said, pounding on the door.  
  
"No," Ron said dully.  
  
"Ron, just open the damn door," Harry said.  
  
"Why?" Ron replied.  
  
"Because you don't need to do this!" Ginny said from outside the door, since it was a boy's bathroom.  
  
"Get out of the stupid stall," Harry said again, and finally it opened. Ron came out, and went to the sink to wash his hands. They weren't dirty, but blooding.  
  
"RON!" Harry yelled angerly.  
  
"What happened?" Ginny asked in a paniced voice. A few minutes of hushed voices, and both Harry and Ron came out of the bathroom. Ginny saw Ron holding a lot of paper towels to his wrist, and Harry was holding a bloody knife, and then put it in the garbage on the way bottom.  
  
"Ron!" Ginny cried, hugging him.  
  
"Let's get back to the table with the other two," Harry said.  
  
"No!" Ron said quickly, trying to turn back, but Ginny grabbed his shirt and dragged him to their table. Problem was, no one was there.  
  
"Where did they go," Harry asked.  
  
"They probably left to get married right now," Ron said, very, VERY upset, and went back to the bathroom.  
  
"Not again," Harry whispered to himself, and followed.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Where the hell are you taking me?" Hermione asked angerly.  
  
"You'll see," Viktor replied. They were walking, or in Hermione's case, being dragged, down an alley towards a car.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TAKING ME!" Hermione yelled, and Viktor covered her mouth.  
  
"Shut up!" he hissed at her, and threw her in the back of the car, and he got in the front, driving away.  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N Like it?? Again, sorry 4 not updating. I didn't keep the last chapter and made it a dream. I really didn't like chapter 8..or is it 9?? I dunno, the last chapter, lol. I hoped you liked this one as much as I did. It was fun 2 write! PLEASE REVIEW AND THANKS 4 REVIEWING IF YOU ALREADY DID! 


	11. No End to the Horror

No End to the Horror  
  
A/N I read all of book 5 now, so here's the next chapter! PLZ R/R!  
  
~*~*~  
  
Again, Harry and Ron came out of the bathroom, or in Ron's case, dragged, but this time Ron didn't seem to have made another cut.  
  
"Maybe she didn't go with him, Ron," Ginny said as they headed toward the table Fred, George, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were sitting at.  
  
"Then where is she?" he sighed.  
  
"Hey guys," Mrs. Weasley said. "Where's Hermione?" Ron groaned and Ginny lightly elbowed him in the ribs.  
  
"She's taking a walk," Ginny lied, and they went to pay for their food and left. Ron was dragging behind, so Harry and Ginny had to, too.  
  
"Ron, she's going to be at the hotel when we get there," Harry said to him, and as they turned the corner, Hermione was waiting outside, though she looked a little shocked and frightened.  
  
"Told you," Harry whispered to Ron, who was in relief that she didn't go and marry him.  
  
"Hermione, where were you?" Ginny asked as they got nearer.  
  
"Walk," she said, in a whispered voice. She was also looking at the ground. They all went in and into their rooms, and as soon as everyone was sitting in bed taking a rest, Ginny pulled Hermione onto the balcony.  
  
"What happened?" she asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Hermione said in a horrified voice, covering her arms with her long-sleeved shirt.  
  
"After Vikor asked you to marry him, of course!" Ginny said, trying to keep her voice down so Ron, and Harry for that matter, couldn't hear them.  
  
"I said no," Hermione replied, calming down a little bit. Ginny nodded and they headed back in. As they did, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley came in.  
  
"We rented two cars!" Mrs. Weasley said, smiling. "In case we need to go somewhere farther, which we will tomorrow, we don't need to walk! So, we're going to go pick them up. Yes, Ginny, we know how to drive still." Ginny obviously gave them a funny look. They left the room as Ron got up and went to the bathroom. 'Great,' Harry thought, and went to wait outside of it. Luckily, he really did need to use it, and when he saw Harry by the door, he sighed.  
  
"Guys, you don't need to follow me everywhere," Ron said, smiling just a little bit.  
  
"We aren't," Harry said quickly. "I needed to use the bathroom, that's all." And he went in, not needing to use it at one bit. Ron went out to the balcony and saw his parents apparate to the car rental place. Once they return, Ron'll ask how to use the car, telling them he need to know just in case of an emergancy. That wouldn't be the reason at all, though. . . Just then, since Ginny had the tv on, the news reporter was talking.  
  
"Just new breaking news," he said. "A body was found earlier this morning by a local lake. Resources say that this is a suicied case.." Ron didn't hear the rest because Ginny quickly turned it off. They all looked at Ron, who was looking at the now blank tv. . .  
  
Later that night, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley came home with a mini van and a car, and when Ron asked how to use it, they showed him. Afterwards, everyone went to bed to rest for the big day tomorrow. After about an hour later, Ron slowly and quietly got up, got the keys, and left the room. . .  
  
Something suddenly woke Hermione up. It wasn't a sound, or the wind, it was like something hit her and she realized something, or someone, was missing. She quickly looked around and saw that Ron's side of the bed was empty.  
  
"NO!" Hermione screamed loud enough for only Ginny and Harry to hear.  
  
"What's wrong Hermione?" Ginny asked urgently.  
  
"Ron's gone, he's left, he's not here," Hermione said. She was really confused, since it was night time, but she got up and turned on the light. Like something was telling her where to look and what to think, Hermione looked over at where the keys to the cars where. Only 1 was there.  
  
"Where is he???" Ginny said, trying not to cry. Harry put his arm around her for comfort.  
  
"He's got the car," Hermione whispered. She thought back into earlier that day, and remembered what they had heard on the news. The lake! "Guys, he drove to the lake, he's going to kill himself by jumping off like that one person earlier today!" Before the others answered, Hermione ran out of the room and was heading towards the car. Ginny took a piece of paper and wrote a note to Mrs. Weasley.  
  
Mum and Dad,  
  
I don't know how to tell you this, but Ron's been trying to kill himself for a while now. Remember when he fainted that one time? It was because of that, and there were other times as well. Right now, Ron took a car and is missing. Harry, Hermione, and I are going out to find him before he does anything harsh. I don't know when we'll be back, but don't worry.  
  
Love, Ginny  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N Hehe, it was gunna be longer, but I decided to put some of it in the next chapter. Hope you liked it, PLZ REVIEW! Thnx 4 reviewing if u did already! 


	12. The Bridge and the Water

The Bridge and the Water  
  
A/N Ok, here's the next chapter. Not much to say..but yeah. PLZ R/R  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Damn, damn, damn," Hermione said.  
  
"What?" both Harry and Ginny asked. They were standing just outside their hotel, and Hermione was looking around.  
  
"There are only two lakes," she said. Harry and Ginny exchanged confusing looks. "Ron could be at either one and we only have one car!"  
  
"Harry and I could run to one of the lakes, because there the smaller one is just near here, and you could take the van to the farther lake." They all nodded, and Harry and Ginny began to run to the smaller lake as Hermione started the van to head toward the larger lake. As she drove as fast as she could to the lake, things flashed before her eyes. She could see Ron jumping 50 feet into the lake and drowning. . .Hermione shook her head. She wasn't going to let that ever happen. Before she knew it, the lake was coming into view and her heart was beating fast. The closest parking lot had one car, and that was the one Ron had taken. Parking right next to it, Hermione jumped out and ran to the sidewalk next to the water. The only thing seperating her from it was a short cement wall that anyone could get over.  
  
"Ron?" she shouted, looking around. No sign of him anywhere..or at least anywhere that wasn't below her. She looked down and saw a really narrow pathway that went along the cement wall. It was far down enough that someone's head could just barely pass the wall. Every now and then there were stairs that lead back up, just in case someone was to get trapped down there. She looked along the pathway and saw someone standing near the end, about to jump. . . .  
  
"RON!" Hermione screamed, running over to where he was. He looked up at her as she reached him.  
  
"Hermione, how'd you find me?" he asked.  
  
"Nevermind that," Hermione said. "Just please don't jump!" She looked at the distance from where they were to the lake, and NO ONE would be able to survive that kind of fall.  
  
"I have to, Hermione, really, and I'm going to go through with it, too," Ron said, looking as well.  
  
"Ron, you are so stupid!" Hermione said, trying her hardest not to cry. "Can't you see everyone loves you? I have no clue who doesn't!"  
  
"Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Snape, Krum.." Ron started listing with his fingers.  
  
"Viktor? What makes you think that?" Hermione asked.  
  
"He, well.." Ron tried to explain. "Threatened me at the end of 4th year, when you guys weren't around. Told me to stay away from you because he thought I liked you." 'Which is true," he thought.  
  
"He's not worth it, and neither are the others!" Hermione said, hating Viktor more than she did before. "Viktor's filth, don't listen to him."  
  
"Didn't he ak you to marry him, though?" Ron asked.  
  
"Yes, well," Hermione started. She didn't want to bring that subject up, but if she had to.. "I said no to him. He was pretty upset at that."  
  
"What do you mean upset?" Ron asked in a worried voice.  
  
"Well, I guess I should tell you the truth," Hermione said. "I didn't really go for a walk. After I said no to him, Viktor dragged my out and pushed me into his car, taking me to this place..I don't know where, but it's not too far from here, and he tied me up. He said he hoped I died there and left. It took me a while to get out, and trust me, it was hard. See.." Hermione lifted the sleeve of her shirt, and showed Ron the marks the tree left her. "There are some on my back as well."  
  
"That little git. . ." Ron said.  
  
"Don't jump," Hermione begged. Ron looked into her eyes and saw a few tears in them. Now he couldn't do it; he couldn't jump. Just then, a little voice came into his head. The negative one from when he was an inch from death. 'Remember, she doesn't love you' it said, 'She never will, just end it now.' Mind change. Ron, still looking at Hermione, spoke.  
  
"I'm sorry again, Hermione," he said. "I have to, though." Just as he was about to jump off, Hermione jumped down next to him on the little pathway.  
  
"I'm not letting you jump," she said.  
  
"Why?" Ron asked her while he raised his eyebrow. "I'm better off dead than alive."  
  
"No, you aren't," Hermione replied. "Ron, I should've told you this years ago, but..I love you."  
  
"Is this a joke?" Ron said, chuckling. "No one would ever love me, what are you talking about?"  
  
"This is no joke at all!" Hermione said. Ron folded his arms and stared at her.  
  
"What about that one guy?" he asked.  
  
"What guy?" Hermione answered. She had no clue what he was saying.  
  
"The one from the basketball court!" Ron said. How could she not remember!  
  
"You mean Josh?" Hermione said, raising an eyebrow. "What about him?"  
  
"You guys kissed!" Ron said. "So how can you like me when you kiss another guy? Tell me that."  
  
"Because he kissed me, and I didn't want him to!" Hermione said. She was getting a little mad. "I'll never like him! Never."  
  
"Yeah, sure," Ron said, looking back at the lake below them, then at his watch. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with the water." Just as he was going to jump again, Hermione grabbed the collar of his shirt and held it tight.  
  
"That's one appointment you'll have to miss!" she said, and with that, she kissed him. Ron couldn't believe this was happening to him finally! After all these years and after all his dreams, Hermione really loved him. As bad as timing is, the little voice, also the bad influence, came into his head. 'She's just saying that! She never loved you!'. This time, Ron fought back. 'She isn't just saying that! She really does love me. This is a battle that you're just going to have to loose'. After that, the little voice disappeared, and, hopefully, was never going to come back. As Ron and Hermione kissed, he felt so stupid for trying to kill himself. What if he succeeded? All this wouldn't be happening, and he would've destroyed his family. After a few minutes, they pulled away.  
  
"Now do you want to die?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Nope," Ron said, smiling, and pulled her into a hug. "Should we get back?"  
  
"Yeah, it's getting late," Hermione said. "Everyone'll be worried since we...you know..told them."  
  
"You did?" Ron said with a gulp. "Well, I guess they needed to know." They headed to the nearest steps and climbed up them. They took the cars back to the hotel parking lot and made their way up the stairs. Ron was lagging behind, thinking of the reaction of his parents and siblings after they knew he was suicidal.  
  
"Ron, don't worry," Hermione said, walking right next to him. "It won't be any different. They'll still love you, you know that."  
  
"Maybe they will, but it will surely be different," Ron said, sighing, and they finally reached their floor and stood outside the door. "Uh..Hermione? I need to sit and think a while before I go in.."  
  
"Ok," Hermione said, understanding completely. "I'll just go in and tell them that you are alright, so they don't need to worry anymore. Then we can go for a walk, if you want." Ron nodded as Hermione went in . . . . . . . .  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N Took me a while to write. Well, lol, I hope you liked it! PLEASE REVIEW!! I BEG YOU!! Thanx 4 reviewing if you did already! I'll update ASAP! The surprises to come..*sigh* This story is so not over, lol. 


	13. A Promise and A New Life

A Promise and A New Life  
  
A/N the next chapter is here, and the one after this is the BEST PART! PLZ R/R!  
  
~*~*~  
  
As soon as Hermione went inside the room, she saw Fred, George, and Harry, looking very grave, Mr. Weasley, who had no expression on his face whatsoever, and Ginny, who was comforting Mrs. Weasley. As soon as everyone realized she was there, they all went wild with questions.  
  
"Did you find him?"  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
"Is he ok?"  
  
"Please tell me he didn't jump!"  
  
"He's fine!" Hermione said over the noise. "He's outside of the door, but he isn't ready to come in yet." Everyone calmed down and sighed in relief.  
  
"Was he about to jump?" Mrs. Weasley asked.  
  
"Yes," Hermione whispered. "But he didn't." She added when everyone looked horrified. "I'm going to go back out there and talk to him, and when he's ready, he'll come in." Everyone nodded, and she went out in the hallway. Ron was leaning against the wall by the door, looking out the window (their room was at the end of the hall).  
  
"Want to go for a walk now?" Hermione asked Ron, and he nodded. They both went downstairs, out the door, and took the pathway around their hotel. They were in silence for a few minutes until Hermione finally spoke up.  
  
"They're worried about you, Ron," she said. "They don't hate you at all."  
  
"Yeah, well, life's going to be different once I walk in that door," Ron said, looking at the ground with his hands in his pockets.  
  
"How different?" Hermione asked.  
  
"They aren't going to trust me, they'll have someone by me wherever I go, they'll see me in a different way.." Ron said, sighing.  
  
"I don't see you in a different way," Hermione said. "I see you as the same Ron Weasley I knew since our 1st year. Red-haired, blue eyes, funny personality, and dirt on his nose." They both laugh, and that was a surprise, since Ron hadn't laugh for such a long time.  
  
"It'll still be different, though," Ron said, still smiling.  
  
"You'll never know until you see them," Hermione said. "If things are different, then you can talk to them about it."  
  
"You're right," Ron said, and they both stopped. "I still can't believe I tried to..to, kill myself."  
  
"I can't believe it either," Hermione said, and gave him a hug. "You better not try to do anything stupid like that again!" Ron chuckled.  
  
"I won't," he said. "I promise." Then, for the second time, they kissed. It was short because they needed to get back, but it was sweet. As they were right outside the door, Ron took a deep breath as Hermione opened it. She came in first, followed by Ron, and closed the door. That second was the longest second in Ron's life. Mrs. Weasley ran up to him and gave him a huge hug, not wanting to let go, as everyone else was up as well, patting him on the back. Everyone was exploding with questions on why he wanted to die, and he started to tell the whole, long story. Hermione snuck out of the room, unable to rehear the story, and into her own. She layed in bed, hearing everyone talking, then fell asleep.  
  
~*~  
  
Ron finally escaped the chaos saying he needed to speak to Hermione, and it was true. He needed to ask her about a ton of things. He opened the door to their room slowly, and saw that Hermione was asleep. That made Ron smile as he made his way to her. Carefully, he sat on the bed and stroked Hermione's cheek. She woke a few seconds later, and smiled when she saw who it was.  
  
"Hey," she said.  
  
"Hey," Ron said, kissing her on the cheek. Hermione sat up and Ron put his arm around her shoulders as she rested her head on his own shoulders.  
  
"Do you feel alright?" Hermione asked him after a few minutes of silence.  
  
"Yeah," Ron said, and there was a slight pause.. "No.." Before he could finish, Hermione gasped deeply and got up on her feet.  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?" she yelled loudly. "DON'T YOU DARE DO ANYTHING YOU'LL REGRET LATER ON IN LIFE, OR ELSE I'LL--"  
  
"Hermione, calm down!" Ron said, taking her hand and seating her on his lap. "I don't want to kill myself." Hermione blushed a deep shade of red. Just then, the door opened and Harry and Ginny came in, like they were in a rush.  
  
"What happened?" Harry asked.  
  
"Nothing," Ron and Hermione said at the same time.  
  
"Oh," Harry said with a sigh of relief. "Ok, then."  
  
"Ron, mum and dad, and everyone, really, wants to watch over you, just in case you feel the urge to..well, you know," Ginny said.  
  
"I won't do that anymore," Ron argued. He knew they'd want to do that.  
  
"I told them that you wouldn't, but they still feel someone should," Ginny said. "I wouldn't blame them, though, Ron."  
  
"You're right, I wouldn't either, but it's going to get very annoying," Ron said, sighing.  
  
"I'll make you a deal," Ginny said. "You promise you *will not* try anything harmful, and I'll tell mum I'll watch you, but I won't, ok?"  
  
"Deal," Ron said, smiling, and shaking her hand. They all got up and went to where the rest of the Weasleys were. Everyone sat there and talked about what they were going to do on the trip, and it seemed like they were avoiding Ron's attempted suicide. Later that night, while Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Fred, and George were asleep, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny sat on the ground in a circle, still talking.  
  
"I can't wait until we go and see the Ifle (sp) Tower!" Ginny said.  
  
"Yeah, me too," Hermione agreed. "I want to get pictures and all. I wonder if Professor Bins would give me extra credit on the wizards that live here."  
  
"Is that all you ever think about? Homework and school?" Ron laughed, along with everyone else. Hermione smiled.  
  
"Yup," she said, making them laugh some more. "I guess it isn't the only thing now, I suppose."  
  
"Oh?" Harry said. "What else is there to think about? Your future job?"  
  
"Yeah, that too, but I'm talking about Ron," Hermione said, smiling at, of course, Ron, who was smiling back  
  
"Awwww," Harry and Ginny said together. A few minutes of silence, then they all got up and went to bed without another word..well, unless you count their, 'I love you' to each other (Harry to Ginny, Ron to Hermione). An hour or so later, Hermione woke up, feeling like she did on that one night she almost jumped off the balcony. She turned on the tv and tuned it down so it wouldn't make the rest waken up. 'What's happening??' Hermione thought. 'I can't control myself!'. She took the keys to the car and left out the door, going into a deep sleep, not knowing what'll happen next. . . . .  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N Mwahahaha, cliffahanger!! Liked it? Well, PLZ REVIEW! THANKS 4 REVIEWING IF YOU ALREADY DID SO! 


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